crisus.nl

Centrale Registratie van Incidenten, Storingen en Uitgebreid Schouderophalen. A satire status page for big internet incidents, in the style of an outage page. The jokes are ours; every fact comes from a source the page names.

First used live on 21 October 2026 for PHP2Shell (CVE-2026-109618 and CVE-2026-109619), updated through the day and the night after.

Layout

Path	What
site/museum/	The Crisus-museum: every crisus since 24 June 2019, and the 503 pages of PHP2Shell
site/	The site as served: index.html, over/, 404.html, crisus.css, crisus.js, feed.xml (RSS), sitemap.xml, og.png, .htaccess (strict CSP, headers)
tools/check.sh	One round of source checks: news, php.net, distributions, Docker, offline sites
tools/headlines.py	Headlines on the current topics since the last update (Security.NL, NOS, Tweakers, NCSC, heise)
tools/bump.py	Set every "last updated" stamp at once and rebuild the feed
tools/feed.py	Build site/feed.xml and the JSON-LD liveBlogUpdate list from the updates; gives every update a permalink id
tools/og.py	Render site/og.png, the link-preview image
tools/check-html.py	Check that tags nest properly
tools/deploy.sh	Copy site/ to the web server
skills/crisus-update/	A Claude Code skill: how to run an update round, and the rules

A round, short

bash tools/check.sh                      # what changed?
$EDITOR site/index.html                  # add an update, refresh the fixed blocks
python3 -I tools/bump.py 23:00           # stamps + feed
python3 -I tools/check-html.py site/index.html
tools/deploy.sh index.html sitemap.xml feed.xml

The site is static on purpose: no PHP, no cookies, no trackers, nothing from third parties. During a PHP crisis that is the joke and the point.

License

REUSE compliant, see REUSE.toml: the code and configuration (tools/, skills/, CSS, JS, .htaccess) are MIT, the pages, texts, feed and images are CC-BY-4.0. Quotes from news sources and advisories are cited with a link to the source.

© 2026 Anne Jan Brouwer.