sudo.me.uk

A stupid little ASCII terminal simulator that destroys a procedurally generated city 99 different ways. Pick your poison, watch the chaos animate in glorious green-on-black monospace, then hit reset and do it again.

🔗 Live: sudo.me.uk

What it is

You land on a fake terminal running sudo rm -rf /*, pick a "method" from a grid of scenarios (or hit the 🎱 RANDOM button to let it choose for you), and watch a fully animated, character-grid rendering of a city get wiped out in that style — screen shake, rain, fire, smoke, the works — ending on a "the city is gone — press RESET" hold screen.

No backend logic, no database, no point. Just a page that renders everything as plain text.

Methods

All 99 methods, in picker order. Each has a real, shareable URL at ?m=<#>.

#	Method	Category	What happens
0	Nuclear Bomb	Classic	The classic red-button mushroom cloud
1	Tsunami	Classic	A curling tidal wave sweeps left to right
2	Asteroid	Classic	A flaming rock streaks down from upper-left to city centre
3	Godzilla	Kaiju/Sci-fi	A giant kaiju stomps in from the right, flattening the city
4	Napalm	Classic	Incendiary blobs rain down, igniting spreading flames
5	The Sun	Kaiju/Sci-fi	A red giant swells over the horizon and scorches Earth to nothing
6	Aliens	Kaiju/Sci-fi	A mothership descends and blasts the city with green beams
7	Zombies	Kaiju/Sci-fi	An undead horde pours in and overruns the city
8	Locusts	Classic	A plague of insects blots the sky and devours the city
9	Tornado	Classic	A funnel crosses the city, sucking buildings into flying debris
10	Earthquake	Classic	The ground splits and buildings topple into the fissures
11	Volcano	Classic	A mountain erupts, raining lava bombs and flooding the city
12	Riots	Classic	An angry mob floods the streets, torching buildings
13	Air Crash	Classic	An airliner streaks in and slams into the city in a fireball
14	Toxic Waste	Classic	Glowing green sludge floods and dissolves the city
15	ISS Crash	Classic	The space station deorbits, burns through the sky, and impacts
16	Sharknado	Kaiju/Sci-fi	A watery funnel full of flying, chomping sharks
17	Sauron	Movie/game	A great dark tower rises with the flaming Eye atop, orcs overrun the city
18	Snowpiercer	Movie/game	A deep-freeze locks the whole city in ice
19	Thanos	Movie/game	The Avengers fail, he snaps, and half of everything turns to dust
20	Inception	Movie/game	The city folds up and over onto itself
21	Dragons	Movie/game	Drogon & co. wheel over the city and burn it to ash
22	AI Takeover	Kaiju/Sci-fi	The machines convert the city into cascading code
23	Back to the Future	Movie/game	A DeLorean hits 88mph, and the city becomes the Old West
24	Man of Steel	Movie/game	The Kryptonian World Engine terraforms the city while super-beings brawl
25	Jurassic Park	Movie/game	A T. rex rampages downtown, raptors roam the streets
26	Satan	Movie/game	The ground splits open, Hell's army rises, and the Devil claims his throne
27	Titanic	Movie/game	The great liner ploughs straight through the city, then keels over and lists onto its side
28	Baldur's Gate	Movie/game	A mind flayer nautiloid crashes through the city
29	EMP	Kaiju/Sci-fi	An electromagnetic pulse blacks out the city — buildings stand, lights die
30	War	Kaiju/Sci-fi	Tanks roll in, jets strafe, artillery shells level the city
31	Jumanji	Movie/game	The jungle bursts out of the board game and overruns the city
32	Ghostbusters	Movie/game	Ghosts swarm, then the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man stomps the city
33	Frozen	Movie/game	Elsa's magic sweeps out, an ice castle rises, the world freezes
34	Landslide	Classic	A mass of earth and boulders slides down from the upper-left
35	Alien vs Predator	Movie/game	Xenomorphs and Predators battle through the city
36	Mortal Engines	Movie/game	Cranes strip the city for parts, which drives off as a Traction City
37	The Simpsons	Movie/game	A giant glass dome drops over the city, sealing it in
38	Emu War	Whimsical	The army opens fire, the emus don't care, the army loses
39	Neil the Seal	Whimsical	He waddles up to each building, bashes it flat, then moves to the next
40	Kool-Aid Man	Whimsical	He bursts through half the city, then shatters into glass and punch
41	Gray Goo	Kaiju/Sci-fi	Self-replicating nanomachines consume everything, spreading outward
42	Mine Turtle	Whimsical	Everybody does the flop off the rooftops, right onto the mine turtle
43	Triffids	Movie/game	A green comet blinds everyone, then the triffids walk
44	Little Tikes	Whimsical	A kid climbs into a monster-truck Cozy Coupe for a chase and flip
45	Ion Cannon	Kaiju/Sci-fi	A satellite locks on, then drops a column of pure energy on the city
46	Death Star	Movie/game	It hovers above the city, then unleashes its superlaser
47	LGBT Agenda	Whimsical	No destruction — the city just gets a very fabulous makeover
48	The Joker	Movie/game	A street parade rolls out the gas canisters, and Batman is too late
49	Suicide Squad	Movie/game	The Enchantress opens her machine, the Squad fights through, Diablo burns it down
50	12 Monkeys	Movie/game	The zoo stunt is a red herring — Dr. Peters spreads the real virus, the city empties, animals reclaim it
51	Suicide Squad 2	Movie/game	A decoy team dies on the beach, the real team blows up Jotunheim, and Starro breaks loose
52	GTA	Movie/game	A GTA-style 1-5 star wanted level escalates from patrol cars to citywide alert
53	Sim City	Movie/game	An empty field, then a city rises from it — before an asteroid wipes it out
54	Duke Nukem 3D	Movie/game	The mirror one-liner, then Duke wades through an alien-infested city
55	Dolly	Whimsical	No destruction — a non-destructive 9-to-5 tribute, the city clocks in, sings along, and clocks out
56	Tim Curry	Movie/game	A victory lap through his best-known roles, ending in the Time Warp
57	Wicked	Movie/game	The city turns emerald, and the flying monkeys give chase over the rooftops
58	LTT	Movie/game	A routine GPU review goes wrong, and Linus saves it with a sponsor read
59	Melon Tusk	Movie/game	An Optimus-piloted Roadster deorbits itself, and a tech titan spins the fallout
60	Fart	Whimsical	A performer clears their throat, turns around, and a sound wave shatters every window in earshot
61	Rubber	Movie/game	A telepathic car tire named Robert rolls around making heads explode
62	Tomatoes	Movie/game	Attack of the Killer Tomatoes — they roll in, and nothing stops them
63	Cocaine Bear	Movie/game	Same plot, wrong setting — a smuggler's plane, some duffel bags, one very motivated bear
64	Cats and Dogs	Whimsical	No destruction — it just, literally, rains cats and dogs
65	Lube	Whimsical	Everything gets an oily coating, and the skyline slides sideways to the ground
66	Doctor Who	Movie/game	Classic baddies swarm the city until the TARDIS materializes and the Doctor deals with them
67	Sports Direct	Whimsical	A mug tips over, and the city drowns in coffee
68	Ricks	Movie/game	Thousands of Ricks build the Citadel to govern themselves — class inequality, a police state, and an assassination plot tear it apart
69	Minecraft	Movie/game	The city is repainted blocky Minecraft colours, and a creeper sets off a stack of TNT in the town square
70	Elephant's Toothpaste	Whimsical	A science-fair demo in the town square goes wrong, and the foam never stops rising, burying the first five floors of every building
71	Idiocracy	Movie/game	Two hibernation volunteers oversleep by 500 years and wake to a country buried in garbage, watered with Brawndo, and run by a wrestler-president
72	Blobby	Whimsical	A pink, spotted kaiju escapes a secret lab and rampages through London, hugging landmarks to bits out of sheer enthusiasm
73	Dumpster Fire	Whimsical	A burning bin rolls through the city, setting fire to everything in its wake
74	Barney	Whimsical	A wished-to-life plush dinosaur lays waste to Milton Keynes, one over-enthusiastic hug at a time
75	Blobby vs Barney	Whimsical	Clash of the Wobbly Titans — two huggers meet, and the city doesn't survive the affection
76	Matilda	Movie/game	The Trunchbull hammer-throws Amanda Thripp by her pigtails, and she takes out the whole town before landing in the duck pond
77	Elmo	Whimsical	Someone gives Elmo a toaster. The toast burns, and Elmo bounces across town firing burnt toast until everything is rubble
78	Pingu	Whimsical	Pingu eats a very unusual fish, grows to giant size, and stomps the skyline flat — NOOT NOOT
79	Cheese	Whimsical	It rains cheese, a giant wheel rolls through, the rest melts into a fondue flood, and then a cheese moon lands on the city
80	Oops	Whimsical	The whole city runs off one wall socket, and a giant hand needs to charge its phone. "oops." Segmentation fault (core dumped)
81	Pac-Man	Movie/game	Pac-Man sweeps the skyline lane by lane, eating the city in chunks — with ghosts, a power pellet, and a level-clear flash
82	Goat Simulator	Movie/game	Feature creep: a goat licks half the street onto its tongue, glitches the city, unlocks a jetpack, and headbutts the town hall into orbit. +1,000,000 POINTS
83	THX	Movie/game	The Audience Is Listening: an outdoor screening's Deep Note builds into one perfect chord that resonates the whole city into dust
84	Lego	Whimsical	Some Assembly Required: a brick city sings and dances itself to pieces, and the instructions say step 1 of 46,000
85	Thomas the Tank Engine	Movie/game	Thomas has a very important crate to deliver to the town hall, which isn't on the railway, so he takes a shortcut. So does everyone else
86	Tank Engine	Movie/game	A tiny blue dot, a train whistle Doppler-shifting downward, and a cheerful tank engine falling nose-first onto the town square
87	Teletubbies	Whimsical	Eh-oh! A hill appears in the square, the custard won't stop, the city goes on a loop, and a big hug leaves nothing but a smooth green hill
88	Trashpanda	Whimsical	Trash Pandemonium: one raccoon tips one bin, and by the end the city is a junk mountain with a raccoon on a shopping-trolley throne
89	Doom Crossing	Movie/game	A new resident moves into a cosy island village. Then a hell portal opens by the museum. Island rating: one star
90	Nokia 3310	Whimsical	The indestructible phone in the gutter rings, launches Snake across the city, and survives the tanks. R U OK? X
91	Disney	Whimsical	Told as a kernel boot log: one boat ride, one song forking to every process in the city, and a world shrunk into a snow globe. Kernel panic - not syncing: everyone is syncing
92	Nature	Whimsical	One dandelion becomes a meadow, the skyline becomes hedges, a stag becomes mayor, and humanity is gently composted. Please do not reinstall
93	Team America	Movie/game	Marionette heroes on very visible strings liberate the town square, a café, the ducks, the mayor's office and the rest of the city. Another city saved
94	Brian Blessed	Whimsical	A very loud, very happy man strides into town. HELLO! shatters every window; MAGNIFICENT! splits the Earth in half
95	Red Bull	Whimsical	One crate in the reservoir and the whole city grows wings, takes up extreme sports, and leaves the planet. The Earth gets some rest
96	Doom Music	Movie/game	A riff with no off switch: the street headbangs, demons climb out to mosh, every breakdown knocks a storey off the skyline, and the world ends twice
97	Big Bird	Whimsical	A very large, very friendly yellow bird teaches sharing, the letter B and counting to ten. Brought to you by the letter D, and the number zero
98	Grimace	Whimsical	A limited-time purple shake, a city of dramatically posed people, and a round purple friend who turns the whole planet purple. Happy birthday, Earth

How it works

Everything is rendered as monospace text — a shared procedural city generator builds a skyline, a character-grid painter colors each cell per "mode," and a state machine of animation phases drives each scenario frame by frame. No canvas, no images, no sprites — just strings and setTimeout.

Each of the 99 methods lives in its own file under js/methods/, fetched only the first time it's actually launched — the page itself just ships the shared engine and a small loader, not all 99 methods' worth of code up front.

Every method also has a real, shareable URL (?m=<id>) that launches it directly, and a share button in the bottom-right corner lets you share either the current destruction or the bare site link.

The page is served as PHP (index.php) purely so it can do a lightweight server-side check against this repo's GitHub releases — the version badge in the top bar turns red with a tooltip if the live build doesn't match a published release.

Running locally

It's a PHP file plus a js/methods/ directory of per-method scripts — no build step, no dependencies.

index.php requires a config.php to exist (it's gitignored, so it's not in this repo). Copy the sample first:

cp config.sample.php config.php
php -S localhost:8000

Then open http://localhost:8000.

License

GPL-3.0